deep breath...

first of all, i have not lost my mind~

akilah at execumama issued a challenge, a challenge to speak about the things you love about yourself... maybe you should meet her and read about her challenge before going on ahead here... my initial response for her was, 'good for you! you are all of those things and should be proud and pleased that they are all facets of your Self'... but when faced with doing it for me, i faltered... as she says, words like arrogance, narcissism and gloating begin to swirl about your head... we are hard on ourselves - doesn't mean it's not ok to work on things, or find areas you would like to expand upon or improve - i am talking about the not-even-being-your-own-friend kind of hard... we need to remind ourselves of the good in us and what we bring to the world's table...

sometimes i cannot get over how the universe works... i have 2 pieces that have been accepted for publication... but they want a picture - of me... and that has held me up... when i read akilah's post the other night, i decided enough was enough... how could i hold myself up at this opportunity just because i wasn't a beauty queen?

so the first part of this was a revealing of the physical self - at the end of the day, no make-up and not a hair day... just me...

i found some quotes that reinforce the wisdom of my execumama friend...

'self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.'
-william shakespeare

'don't forget to love yourself.'
- soren kierkegaard

i love (heart pounding) my green eyes... okay that one was easy because i just came assembled that way...

i love that i am named after my grandmother... my given name is mary jane... i became maire, because she called me that (she didn't like me being called mj jr, my grandparents believed in the uniqueness of each child)... but the spelling became an issue... my 7-yr-old Self was not content to have it spelled 'mare' because that was a female horse, and i did not want to be associated with the rhyme 'the old grey mare she ain't what she used to be...' i am grateful to the little girl who foresaw that and came up with a solution... and for all of the understandable times that people think i am marie, i am completely ok with that...

i love that i am able to maintain my composure under the most difficult of circumstances - i pass maya angelou's test of how people handle a rainy day, lost luggage, & tangled christmas tree lights... for example - a couple of years ago, at 10 pm while my daughter was finishing an extensive project of making a 17th century diary using candles, calligraphy ink in a bottle and a quill, our kitten jumped up onto the table, sliding across all of the laid out papers and supplies, sending blue/black ink flying everywhere... as my daughter was in hysterics, i was telling her that the woman back then could have spilled her ink one night, not to worry, it would look more human, less perfect... wouldn't you know, there was not one drop of unwanted ink on her tea-stained pages, but her face and arms were covered... she proudly wore her ink stains to school the next day...

i love that people find it easy to confide in me... i don't know why, but it happens... i don't always even really know them... maybe they just need someone who can listen patiently... so i guess i love the fact that i am able to listen...

i love that i am a detail-oriented person who can see the big picture or a big-picture person who can attend to details... this was a little revelation for me the other day... you know how you kind of try to figure out what kind of a person you are, in different ways? as i child i would make dioramas and houses, not for dolls but just because... i would use anything i could find around the house to make tiny little pieces of furniture, phones, decor... it would absorb me for hours, days... the greater scheme began to develop later on... big picture, detail-oriented, either, or... i am both... i am also a libra so maybe that explains it... but it helps me with my appreciation of art and with life in general...

i love that i am a trusting person... yes, i may get hurt sometimes but the odds are worth it... i have met a lot of really kind and interesting people because of it...

the singer des'ree (you know the 'you gotta be' des'ree) has a song called 'i ain't movin' ' & it includes the lines

'loving self can be so hard, honesty can be demanding.
learn to love yourself, it's a great, great feeling.'

akilah started something for me... something i think about but realize i need to devote myself to... how do i raise my children to love, respect and honor their own Selves if i cannot? to embrace their You-niquess? i spend my time talking about what to do for others - and will continue to do so... but you can't get water from a dry well... so it's time for a change...

now...

i challenge you!