timeless

'let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time

like dew on the tip of a leaf.'

~ rabindranath tagore

inspired by the moving parts of mary hettmansperger and leaves... the spiral for its symbolism of the goddess, continual change and evolution of the universe... 

these earrings are part of a class that i will be teaching locally in february and march... 

what i did this weekend ~

this weekend brought the opening of the monmouth festival of the arts... a show i had been making pieces for since december... emily came with me to the gala on saturday night and we got to see all kinds of wonderful art... sadly, i was only allowed to take pictures of my case... 


this was part 3A of my personal april challenge... 1 & 2 had to do with submissions... as these dates approached, i began to wonder if this 'feel the fear and do it anyway' thing was working... but they came and went and i met the deadlines... 


up until 24 hours ago (and my chest is pounding as i write about this) i was ready to write about this alter-ego of mine... who seems to take over now when i am presented with opportunities to try new things - she did/does not consult me, rather jumps in with both feet... then looks back at me and says 'this will be good for you, you'll see.'


almost in tears yesterday morning, i was not so sure she was right... you see, i had agreed to do a demo at the festival - part 3B of the april challenge... in january, the email came in - 'anyone who wishes to do a demo, please let so-and-so know with the title and topic of what you would like to do'... bam, the alter wrote right back to the co-ordinator... she didn't even ask me! i tried to put this in perspective, after all - some of you guys are teaching at bead fest, teaching regularly, at retreats, at big shows... i know this - i admire you for it and give you so much credit...

ok, so by now you know that facing fears is a big topic for me - and it is something i like to talk about because i know that lots of us feel that way... a piece of personal history - my mother tells me that the month before kindergarten  started, i asked her if it was going to be too hard for me... if i was smart enough to do the work... and i asked the same question for many years... seems i still do... 

i have begun to get comfortable sending in to publications because i don't see anyone's face... i still get the 'can i do this?' feeling about the idea and writing, but i am not at risk of stammering and shaking in front of a real live person... 

now i had VOLUNTEERED to do this at a very busy festival... and guess what? they most kindly gave me a sunday time slot... actually, you were asked to give them 2 time slots and they would make the final selection... my alter picked sunday and tuesday... the festival very nicely gave me sunday - the busiest day... there is a fine line between being excited and terrified... i was not bordering on terrified, by friday i was - certifiably... 

i knew i was going to have to create the components in all of the steps... that i would have to jump ahead 2 - 3 days in under 2 hours... so i busied myself with that part... 

as i realized i couldn't even think about it without shaking (i get nervous reading to a classroom of kindergarteners if that puts this in perspective for you) i knew i would need a thorough outline... just to keep me moving along in case i got stuck... 

got there, had about 16 -20 people in attendance - including emily, a very dear friend and a woman i met through etsy - and gulped... it helped immensely that they were interested and asked lots of questions... in truth, i got asked so many questions it felt more like a class than a demo... and i was grateful that the ice resin people have an 'ask the ice queen' place on their site... and then it happened, i was having fun... 

i walked out of there on clouds - the coordinator asked how it went and i said, 'great!' not 'fine'... i hope someday to know enough to maybe do some teaching at classes... i still get nervous thinking about it... but i am grateful to this alter of mine who pushes me now... who is showing me that with the proper preparation, kindergarten is not too hard for me... 

show up

so have i mentioned this week how much i love my messages from the universe? on tuesday, with my nerves jangling as i was reviewing something i was about to send out, this arrived in my email...


dream it, mary jane.


show up.


boom.


getting up the courage to try things, to put yourself out there is not always easy... we all know this... but when you do, at least you give yourself a chance of getting what you want... if you don't show up, there is no opportunity... don't hold yourself back...  you may not always get what you had hoped for, but at least you will know you tried... there is no 'if only i had' to go to bed with... and it makes the next time a little less scary... april has been a huge test for me - and we shall see what happens...


i had the opportunity to take my first class last friday... it was near to my home and taught by the very talented ruth rae... what a wonderful woman - she shared everything about herself... i am so excited to use the technique i learned - fusing metal - but more than that i came away inspired... 


here is my simple little section of links - it is completely raw as i have not been able to come back to it yet... 

and here is chuck - the grass was cut and the sun was warm, so we took him outside (after making sure that the cats were inside)... 

'look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.

its not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;

it's when you've had everything to do and you've done it.'

~ margaret thatcher

and a huge thank you to those who sent kind words and support to help me get over a hump... it is appreciated more than you will ever know...