what i did this weekend ~

this weekend brought the opening of the monmouth festival of the arts... a show i had been making pieces for since december... emily came with me to the gala on saturday night and we got to see all kinds of wonderful art... sadly, i was only allowed to take pictures of my case... 


this was part 3A of my personal april challenge... 1 & 2 had to do with submissions... as these dates approached, i began to wonder if this 'feel the fear and do it anyway' thing was working... but they came and went and i met the deadlines... 


up until 24 hours ago (and my chest is pounding as i write about this) i was ready to write about this alter-ego of mine... who seems to take over now when i am presented with opportunities to try new things - she did/does not consult me, rather jumps in with both feet... then looks back at me and says 'this will be good for you, you'll see.'


almost in tears yesterday morning, i was not so sure she was right... you see, i had agreed to do a demo at the festival - part 3B of the april challenge... in january, the email came in - 'anyone who wishes to do a demo, please let so-and-so know with the title and topic of what you would like to do'... bam, the alter wrote right back to the co-ordinator... she didn't even ask me! i tried to put this in perspective, after all - some of you guys are teaching at bead fest, teaching regularly, at retreats, at big shows... i know this - i admire you for it and give you so much credit...

ok, so by now you know that facing fears is a big topic for me - and it is something i like to talk about because i know that lots of us feel that way... a piece of personal history - my mother tells me that the month before kindergarten  started, i asked her if it was going to be too hard for me... if i was smart enough to do the work... and i asked the same question for many years... seems i still do... 

i have begun to get comfortable sending in to publications because i don't see anyone's face... i still get the 'can i do this?' feeling about the idea and writing, but i am not at risk of stammering and shaking in front of a real live person... 

now i had VOLUNTEERED to do this at a very busy festival... and guess what? they most kindly gave me a sunday time slot... actually, you were asked to give them 2 time slots and they would make the final selection... my alter picked sunday and tuesday... the festival very nicely gave me sunday - the busiest day... there is a fine line between being excited and terrified... i was not bordering on terrified, by friday i was - certifiably... 

i knew i was going to have to create the components in all of the steps... that i would have to jump ahead 2 - 3 days in under 2 hours... so i busied myself with that part... 

as i realized i couldn't even think about it without shaking (i get nervous reading to a classroom of kindergarteners if that puts this in perspective for you) i knew i would need a thorough outline... just to keep me moving along in case i got stuck... 

got there, had about 16 -20 people in attendance - including emily, a very dear friend and a woman i met through etsy - and gulped... it helped immensely that they were interested and asked lots of questions... in truth, i got asked so many questions it felt more like a class than a demo... and i was grateful that the ice resin people have an 'ask the ice queen' place on their site... and then it happened, i was having fun... 

i walked out of there on clouds - the coordinator asked how it went and i said, 'great!' not 'fine'... i hope someday to know enough to maybe do some teaching at classes... i still get nervous thinking about it... but i am grateful to this alter of mine who pushes me now... who is showing me that with the proper preparation, kindergarten is not too hard for me... 

i'm here...

'inspiration exists,

but it has to find us working.'

~ pablo picasso

i have been busy lately getting ready for 3 rather big deadlines that will arrive within a week to 10 days... this is not said to solicit sympathy - i made the choice to go after them all... but the timing is tricky... and the anxiety is building... i have been reading your blogs, though i may not be commenting... am trying to limit my time on the computer... because while i sit here and wonder at times what i will do, picasso is right - the best inspiration can come when we are actually at the task... 

this piece is for a festival that i am in and it is going to be auctioned... i thought that using words like 'imaginative' (there was no word 'imagination' in the dictionary from 1877 that i used for the paper), 'passion', 'create' & 'art' were fitting to the occasion... garnet, pearl, amethyst and raspberry amethyst are used... 

i also did another set of the almond blossom earrings from the abs challenge last month... as i didn't have any more emeralds, this time i used green garnet... 

there is one more in the works - we enter an inventory which is able to be edited... turns out the system went down - ok, yikes... while i know i should have printed it out, i did not... and i now cannot do my tags! but i know there is time until monday - so i have my fingers crossed...

on the home front, we got down to the beach on sunday - i needed that so bad... the sand was warm on our feet and there were piles of sand that have been created to prevent erosion from storms... 

and what is it about the water that pulls at you?

in addition, em is back to posting and has updated her blog... i really like to read what she has to say and how she says it... to see that individual who i have lived with for 18 years standing on her own... and to know that i am a part of it... 

warm spots on a rainy day

hoboken, 27 september 2009, was wet... very, very wet!

the festival ran from 11-6... there were people in the streets - with umbrellas and wellies... but i had to wonder if they were just the city's residents popping out for food so they didn't have to cook on sunday! which i cannot say i blame them for as i would have done the same thing... i myself had an awesome crystallized ginger scone from an organic bakery... and em found some fried raviolis...

i was fortunate to have my own sunshine with me - my 17-yr.-old daughter and friend - and we had a great time people watching... i thanked her for sticking out a yucky day with me - a sunday no less, and a long one... 

sales were between a slow down and dead stop...

'while we try to teach our children all about life.

our children teach us what life is all about.'

aside from em, one other little person absolutely made my day... a not-more-than-6 yr. old little boy whose face just cleared the table wandered up holding his mother's hand... he started looking for red & told me it was his mother's favorite color... i learned that his favorite color was green & he showed me his shirt beneath his rain coat... he pointed out that his mom was wearing one too... he was adamant about wanting his mother to have something... and asked me to put a bracelet aside for her while they went to get food... 'will you hold onto this for my mom?' awww! i mouthed to her not to worry about it or feel obligated as i assured him i would do as he asked... really, i didn't expect to see them again...  you know how it goes... but wouldn't you know that at the end of the day, he comes back with his whole family... 'i am back to get my mom a bracelet, she needs one.' ... so mom gets to choose the bracelet she likes and we show him how it has green in it... dad gave him the money to pay me... and he was so content... that little boy almost had me in tears with the sincerity he showed in wanting to give his mom something, you could tell he adored her... 
having a $ successful show is always nice... but the moments where you connect with strangers, or see joy in someone's face because they have purchased a gift are so special... 


despite the damp chill and drops on my head - i had my warm fuzzies for the day... oh, and the lighting allowed me to take a pic of a necklace i made with one of leann's copper pmc charms! emily has on a koi fish brass one... 

hope your weekend was great...