so maybe it's all a matter of semantics -

but it's interesting - 
at least to me... 


writing on growth yesterday made me think of other kinds of growth - physical growth... in the spring especially we are surrounded by it... plants pushing their way up through the ground, baby birds and animals making an appearance, children having recitals, plays, graduations - 

in my world, we will start with plays... em is in 'a funny thing happened on the way to the forum' and it begins tonight... yesterday she came home asking, 'mom, could you help me...?' we added adornment to the sashes of the togas - picking a peacock feather because it is a symbol of juno, patroness of rome (i have told you that i am a total left brain/right brain - for i am an academic as much as i love to create)... and em added zodiac symbols to some bags... when she got home at 10pm, more kids wanted some - for this morning, meaning before 7 - so guess what i was doing at 6am?  yes, i know that one looks like a seagull feather - it is, it's an inside joke... but not mine... i just do what i am asked!! it's different to paint for theater - the focus is a bit different - bolder, bigger... 

emily is 18 - this school year saw her get her license and voter registration card (she has even voted)... she graduates high school... alex graduates middle school... and nick is promoted from fifth grade... all this june! exciting and a bit overwhelming - and 'where did the time go?' 


growth - in children we see all of the kinds of growth incredibly accelerated... 


and they are growing up... some would say that em is grown up... 'oh, she's all grown up!'... hmmm... ok, in terms of being able to make something to eat, wash clothes, take responsibility, negotiate and mediate... but grown up? i think not... in fact, didn't i write yesterday about our growth? about initiating it for ourselves each day?


so i guess i am taking it up with the phrase - so very generally accepted... it implies that kids grow up - and then once grown (past tense), they/we are done... for we were once children ourselves... while we may be self-sufficient, we are not grown... 


even in the physical realm our bodies are constantly changing... are we gaining height after a certain point? no... but we change, boy how we continue to change... 


if being grown up implies maturity, why are immature adults still called 'grown ups'? because i know plenty of them - and they own houses, have bank accounts, drive, have the right to vote, shop, etc... they participate in an adult world... but they can be hurtful and destructive with their lack of development...  


if my grandmother felt like she hadn't learned something new that day, she pulled out a dictionary or encyclopedia - and found a new fact, just so she had... forever growing and learning... 


being 'grown up' seems to  imply a static condition - and that is not what life is about... 


thanks for allowing the stream-of-consciousness writing... i just felt like i wasn't done yesterday... like too many loose threads were left... and it isn't like i have tied them all up neatly here - just explored a few more of the obvious ones... 

'when we were children, we used to think 

that when we were grown up we would

no longer be vulnerable. 

but to grow up is to accept vulnerability...

to be alive is to be vulnerable.'

~ madeleine l'engle