btw

'when we discover the truth is already in us,

we are all at once our original selves."

~ dogen

because you already know -

'when one is pretending

the body revolts.'

~ anaïs nin

could this be...

the heart pumping, chest pounding feeling of giddiness?! 

while i know that i 'should be' packing, and doing lots of other things, there is a juried show that i want to submit to (naturally the deadline is friday)... i kept putting myself off, saying that i couldn't, shouldn't, first things first and this wasn't one of them, that there will be other shows... but i need to submit to this, to try - it is for the new jersey metals arts guild... and the piece i had planned is perfect for the theme - 'process'... 


yesterday, i decided to give myself permission to take some time to work - something i have not done in over a month... and it has taken a toll on my mental well being... (to say nothing of the fact that i feel like a complete stranger on blogger/flickr/etc...)


that feeling of excitement was so forgotten - i will not do this to myself again... nor should you... if something feeds you, don't deprive yourself... even if you allot yourself 30 minutes a day... my work space is in a couple of places right now, and i had to move things back and forth for this - but i am glad i did...  and it may just help me to get through some of the things i am feeling so tentative about ... 

'living is a form of not being sure,

not knowing what next or how...

we guess. we may be wrong,

but we take leap after leap in the dark.'

~ agnes de mille

where is your line?

do you know?


we all have one... 
the place no one should go past... not even ourselves... 
a respect zone... 


not selfish
but Self preserving... 


some are aware of theirs, and carry the knowledge quietly...


some have shed their own blood, lost lives, in order to remember it...


for some it lies buried and forgotten 
underneath allowances we make for others to violate the boundary... 
which makes us complicit... 
that is Self destructive... 


for beneath it all is the silvery light of knowledge... 
get quiet, you will hear it...
be still, you will know it... 


your light... 


it is your duty to protect it
for no one else will, no one else can
the way you must... 


honor your line... 

indeed it does

forget-me-not

forget you not!

'we worry about what a child will become tomorrow, 

yet we forget that he is someone today.'

~ stacia tauscher

a time for moving up ceremonies and graduations, all with the bright and shining (most of the time) future ahead of them... but look at your children for who they are now and let them know how much you love them for that... 

and how about you? do you forget yourSelf? who you are? what you have learned to create this person who thinks, contributes and participates in the world at this very moment? don't... because right now - you are enough... deeply and thoroughly you... do not cast yourself aside like flowers past their prime, waiting until you become more... not that goals aren't  important, they are... but forget you not, right now... 

on being born

the word i chose for myself this year was 'nascent' - defined as coming or having recently come into existence...


for sure i have been here more than 4 decades - and they have all provided experiences and challenges that brought me to this moment... BUT, i feel as though i am just getting my feet... learning things in the personal and artistic realm that are culminating in a 'me'...

'you never find yourself unless 

you face the truth.'

~ pearl bailey

in infancy truth to self occurs by indicating when one is hungry, tired, uncomfortable, happy... and those needs are usually met fairly quickly... as we grow older, we are taught different rules... our culture teaches us to listen to reason instead of our gut, to wait, to monitor ourselves... and while these lessons can serve us well at times, they can also fail us miserably... so truth to self is critical for healthy development throughout our entire life... and we will get caught up and forget, but we must come back to it...

'to the artist there is never anything 

ugly in nature.'

~ august rodin

another early life lesson comes in learning about things... how often does one say to a child - 'look at this!' ... listen, touch, taste, smell, experience... finding beauty in all things... finding an appreciation... being aware... do you notice how the air smells different before it rains or snows? did you see the lady bug that landed on your sleeve? did you hear the cardinal (do you know its call?)? 

by tea staining and tearing the wet paper, shaping the paddles just so with my thumb, selecting the appropriate lengths of hand-dyed yarn, i feel very much a part of the pieces... learning by doing, not just in craft but in living... tangible affirmations for myself and for you... as i mentioned to a friend last night, i seem to be turning into my own art therapist...