i realized that you all have very kindly showed your support of many things... and i can be at best, elusive...
so that pet scan we got my aunt through only about 2 weeks ago - it showed that she is filled with cancer... on numerous organs, in her bones, scattered throughout (like she was hit with buckshot)... her decline has been rapid and her pain great...
at present she is in the hospital - taking her home after having the port placed on monday was just not an option for my mom and i... so we took her to the emergency dept where she was admitted...
this is not a 'poor me' post... life has universals - we all experience joy, birth, death, sickness, love (at least i hope so), and so on... and we support each other...
at this point, we just want her comfortable - suffering is not acceptable... thankfully the medical team is completely on board with that...
she is very confused - this aunt of mine who was so in charge only weeks ago... they are going to do a brain scan to see if the cancer has spread - and while they did just do a pet scan on the 10th, it is spreading so fast that there is a possibility it is now there...
we all learn the lessons along the way - being retaught frequently...
be kind - express love and gratitude - smile - share -
and so many other things that at my tired brain cannot retrieve... (but i am grateful to merely be tired)...
please please please - if you have something bothering you physically, don't assume it is nothing or be afraid to find out... there are so many over-the-counter remedies that it becomes a mixed blessing... if something is persistent, look into it... i cannot help but wonder if she had things that nagged at her... she didn't complain...
so take care of yourself and the people you love -
and be grateful for something every day...
and forgive me if i don't respond to comments right now - i have been between my aunt and the kids since middle-ish august... i am really trying... and i appreciate your support more than i can say...
God bless her Mary Jane. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteYou are right that there are no guarantees in life and also in saying if something is bothering you..get it checked out. Been there done that and my only advice is..don't accept being told that it is in your head..one must be an advocate for family and self.
I wish your aunt comfort, peace and dignity and you strength and courage as you care for her.
Thanks for a push in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteSad to hear the news about your aunt. I hope things go easily for her. You are in my thoughts.
breathe deep. seek peace.
ReplyDeleteknow that i'm here.
find your something good.
try to... enjoy the day.
xo
e
Take your time-your plate is full. Hug your children:)
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my prayers and sending love your way, MJ.
ReplyDeleteIm so very sorry to hear this about your Aunt.
ReplyDeleteYes how so very true not to let things get by us! Life is such a gift and my heart really goes out to her and your and your family. How very Sad. May she embrace (I dont know if she is religious) the Living God right now! Many kind regards Marie. I will keep her and your family in my prayers!
ox
Hugs to you Mary Jane, you all are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMy dearest M. We understand that your focus has changed for the moment. We send you love and support and wish the best possible for your aunt and your family.
ReplyDeleteVery much love to you.
Your light is brightly shining.
You are a very strong woman and your aunt is fortunate to have you there for her. In describing your aunt's condition you have described my mother's. It was very difficult and I miss her very much. However we do carry on and life is always a challenge. If we smile and believe and live fully then it is a good life we enjoy. Prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear the news from the scan was so disheartening! And to see such a rapid deterioration too must just leave your heart in your throat. So difficult when the essence of a person's personality seems to be disintegrating under the weight of an illness. But you carry the "real" her in your mind and heart and your own clarity surrounds her. Everyone should have family to care for them the way you and your Mom are; and compassionate medical providers are a godsend. It's a mercy she is surrounded by those things, as you say. Life's universals are indeed often a trial by fire. I hope you have everyone you need available to you as your family feels their way through this passage. People who love you can help you carry those burdens.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Peace of Christ be with you.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry to hear your aunt is not doing well.
ReplyDeletebut glad that she has someone like you to help her. my thoughts are with you and your family.
The other comments have covered it all eloquently, I hope you are given the strength you need and that your aunt's palliative care minimizes any pain she might feel...I'm here if you need...
ReplyDeleteI a, so sorry to ehar about your Aunt - my thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about us, Mary Jane, we'll be here supporting you from afar with our thoughts, prayers, and wishes for you and your family. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I pray that the doctors are able to find a way to ease her pain. Big hugs out to you.
ReplyDeleteI went through this with a beloved relative this summer. To your caveat not to let your health go, I would add: do not let your life go. If there are things you want to do, go do them. Time is short for all of us; much shorter than we realize, for some. If the end of your life was near, what are the things you would want to have done?
ReplyDeleteOh golly, I'm so sorry. Big hugs and thoughts beaming your way.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your aunt. Sometimes there really isn't enough to go on to say you'll go to the doctor. My dad was like that. He had brain cancer that moved so fast he didn't know what hit him. I do hope they manage the pain well. That is so important at this point.
ReplyDelete