too many

too many words, too many feelings....


decided to go with what moved me in the natural world - the reminders of how you are a small part of a very large whole... 

last night a fast moving and  powerful storm rolled in - the clouds were actually purple...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

the foliage is beginning to change - one of my very favorite things in the whole wide world... 

&

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

a sky so blue and dappled with wispy clouds it took my breath away...

inhale...
exhale...
repeat - 

synchronicity

near the end of class on sunday i started one last bezel for a cab of fossilized palm frond that i had to have when i darted into the vendor area... 

i used bronze sheet and stamped 'courage' into it... the cab had reminded me a bit of a spear head... and the bronze made me think of ancient times in history... 


but my chest started vibrating when i would touch it or start to work with it - it was feeling too masculine and intimidated me... so i left it alone... i happened to be 'talking' to a friend who mentioned that she had a landlady named elysium... which got me to thinking about the elysian fields in greek mythology (and for which the woman was named)... the fields are the final resting place for the souls of the heroic and the virtuous... 

And those that have three times kept to their oaths,

Keeping their souls clean and pure,

Never letting their hearts be defiled by the taint

Of evil and injustice,

And barbaric venality,

They are led by Zeus to the end:

To the palace of Kronos

courageous women, fighting often battles of the domestic sort, continuing to love & care for their children and friends and family under sometimes the most difficult of circumstances... i chose one paddle with 'fear' on it and one that was smaller and clear to represent tears... overcoming struggles, becoming a warrior in the spiritual way... the fibers are the colors of the sky, waters and things that grow... they are soft and beautiful... 


this talisman is attached to a copper bar with winding sterling wire which compositionally was necessary as a transition but symbolically represents growth... 


and i just don't know that i can part with it - 

a journey

'the soul of a journey is liberty, perfect liberty,

to think, feel, do just as one pleases.'

~ william hazlitt

and so i entered susan lenart kazmer's metalsmithing class yesterday - i had been plaguing myself with wondering if i should plan ahead or just go with the flow... i knew the outline of the class and so could have had a personal project in mind, but i decided not to... instead to see where i would go if i dropped the anxiety over 'looking stupid' and decided just to be... 

an incredibly giving teacher, she shared so much of her work style, her self, her TOOLS! i got to use a flex shaft (never had - and needless to say, loved it)... she taught her prong style settings and i chose to do a ring first (thinking that in 7 hours i would make more than one thing... some people did, i didn't)... 

so where to start when one is given sheets of metal, access to fabulous tools, a table full of found objects, beads and fibers & a new technique to pull them together with? well, the first piece naturally... 

this is faux bone, able to be engraved, cut into, etc with great ease... i chose an ancient tibetan symbol that i found by way of nancy schindler... 

i picked my way through the piles of goodies she had brought and came upon some resin paper - on it i found the words 'have a good journey'... hmmm, this was coming along well...

prong setting created with cuts in the edges for our journey often feels interrupted, but the pauses are where we learn some of the great lessons or just regroup to take them on... i used the word 'sisu' also come to me by way of nancy (who i happened to see with lorelei, kelley wenzel and cassandra procopio as i bolted in from the rain on the way to the class) ... 

please note the mistakes on the bottom, those holes are not supposed to be there - i misjudged the size of my conus shell... luckily they are covered up... and yes, i know that sisu has a '1' in it... the 'i' was missing - in fact, i am glad that it was... i like how it reminds me of class... and besides, i am a deep follower of wabi sabi... 

susan has an affinity for conus shells as they are symbolic to the women of new guinea, i used one that she offered to us... and why the crazy looking little wonky square? functionally it was needed for the rivet, compositionally it repeated the shape of the bezel, and symbolically it represents many things that come in fours (elements, seasons, directional points)... 

end of class projects - she very nicely gave a big break at lunch, some people ran to shop for things to finish their projects with (smart)... i really just wanted to work, so i ran down, grabbed 3 cabs for home and came back... 

one prong was left up in philly, knowing i wanted to add my own fibers at home... which i did!

this is just to show that the faux bone was raised off of the conus shell... 


a huge thank you to susan for a wonderful class... it was good for me in so many ways... one of the biggest was getting over fears i had... this was the first project for which i completely used a saw ... and using her power tools with her guidance... 


the journey continues! so i am left wondering, if she is sharing this information then she has moved past it - and i wonder what is new to her? and what will i do with this technique that is new to me?

finding peace - over and over and over

i had an image of a ring that i wanted to make - it started in the winter, developing slowly... i only wanted to make that ring - and i knew i would be directed... and so on sunday, i did it... i made my first ring ... it is meant to evoke a zen garden -with a small pool of water where a flower blossom floats gently on the surface... stillness, peace... 


it seemed to come together with the acquisition of techniques and a series of events... 

when we saw the burton exhibit in april, we passed this billboard ... i didn't realize the dalai lama was coming to the city to speak... a couple of weeks ago, em was asked by a friend if she wanted to go to see him... i said 'of course'... it was her first time into manhattan alone with friends, but she was going with a group including some boys that i trust completely... it also felt like the perfect event to launch her into that 'first'... she and i had seen him at rutgers a few years ago and it was an incredible experience... 


last week in philly while walking through the children's hospital, we came upon these:

they are inspired by prayer flags...

the hopes, the dreams, the thoughts upon them were deeply moving... 

it was a 13 hr. day - and one that required us to be away from all wifi, but we were allowed to leave the premises... too rainy for the zoo, we headed to the museum... and em asked if we could find the temple... 

there is beauty in every day, there are opportunities to find peace... even if in closing your eyes and breathing deeply... it is in the notice we take, the choices we make that guide us through our moments... 

'as human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery...

we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.

the greatest obstacles to inner peace 

are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment,

fear and suspicion,

while love and compassion and a sense

of universal responsibility are the sources of peace

and happiness.'

~ the dalai lama

birdsong

'a bird doesn't sing because it has an answer,
it sings because it has a song.'
- maya angelou

it's 5 am, or earlier, and the birds begin to sing... how do you feel?

as i have gotten older, i have learned to just lay there and listen - it makes me feel peaceful... no more groaning because it's earlier than my alarm clock is set for, i now count upon the song to wake me (that and the kitten licking my face because he's up too!)... and i know i am lucky - afterall, it could be car horns or sirens...

this charm by laura flavin at modernbird sums up the whole experience of nature in such a beautiful way... everything is what it is - and is true to its nature ... birds sing, flowers grow, rain falls, there is balance and harmony... this charm and the natural order yearn to keep things simple and beautiful... we are the ones who botch it up... i love the modern vision that laura brings to her pieces - her clean edge is both aesthetic and symbolic (at least it seems to me)... that is then combined with the diversity and beauty of her metalsmithing... i am truly in love with the textures she applies...

i know that soon the symphony will change and added to it will be the small but demanding chirps of hungry mouths... so when i hear the birds sing in the morning, i know that a whole world awaits, a world that doesn't need me... that no matter how my day goes, things will be what they will be, and i find that to be comforting... i'm ready for the day...