mandalas and growth

fragile strength talisman - awakening - mjd 2013

you are a part of something much bigger than yourself

but it wouldn't be complete without you.

never stop working to stay open -

let your heart space be a portal
from which love can pass freely.

you say you are afraid?

may we band together in this mark of our humanity
and gain strength,

marching forward
and 
experiencing the bittersweet
that life has to offer.

for only then
can we fully know
what it means to be compassionate
and understanding,

and to fully participate
in that which is bigger 
than ourselves. 

taking stock of your spearheads

having a collection of used (and unused) spearheads doesn't mean you aren't a peaceful person...


we all have to take on fears, doubts and other things that lurk in the shadows


in defense of ourselves, our family, our friends.


i wish we could make all the spearheads visual, to see how far we've come,


and to know that whatever else comes our way - be it now, tomorrow or in ten years,


 we are equipped to manage it


if we only believe.

opening to understanding

move away from fear and into love... 

moving into love requires opening the heart... 

opening the heart can make one fearful, vulnerable... 

realize that while it is your individual path to walk, 

others walk beside you... 

that you are not alone... 

as the fear washes over you, shed your tears, then let it pass... 

turn around, bid it farewell

and embrace the understanding that remains... 

looking forward

when i began blogging i noticed that people chose words for the new year... this interested me a great deal... 

mary jane dodd - 'nascent' pendant 2011

i chose 'nascent' a couple of years back... but it was so meaningful for me that i kept it past the 365 days... and i find it has directed my life and work... by autumn 2011, i was using the word in my work physically, connecting it to a pregnant form... 

mary jane dodd - 'nascent' triptych 2011

i end this year working diligently on a project that stems from 'nascent'... 

mary jane dodd - 'nascent' triptych 2011

mary jane dodd - 'nascent' triptych 2011

taking on those silly fears we all have - trying the new... and so i made my first mold... 

mary jane dodd - 'nascent' triptych 2011

it will be a triptych - three is a significant number... birth, life, death... past, present, future... maiden, mother, crone... emerge, evolve, fly... three graces, three norns, three fates, religious trinities... and on and on... i didn't intentionally choose 3, it chose the project... 

resin has to cure for 3 days... so i am not sure what the cast will look like... and the deadline quickly approaches... 

and once the pieces are complete, there is the photography challenge - for that is what the jurors are judging on... 

my word for 2012 is 'daring'... 

'it is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;

it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.'

~ seneca

what ideas or words guide you?

are you ready to move on to a new one? 

georgia

nov. 15 - the birthdate of georgia o'keeffe... 


honoring a woman who as a person and through her art has influenced me profoundly... 

'i've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life -

and i've never let it keep me from doing a single thing  i wanted to do.'

'to create one's own world in any of the arts takes courage.'

'whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing.

making your unknown known is the important thing.'

'the days you work are the best days.'

and here is my girl, 6 ft. above me - atop the suburban - capturing her world through a camera lens... may she always know that she is bigger than fear... 

conquering fear

i have a new practice i have put into place during my walks... imagining things/people i fear as the pebbles at my feet... rather than feeling the fear press down upon me... or close in on me from all sides... i imagine it beneath me... something i can view from a different, more manageable perspective... it allows for the light to shine while i think upon how i choose to handle each one... 

'you have brains in your head.

you have feet in your shoes.

you can steer yourself any direction you choose.

you're on your own.

and you know what you know.

you are the guy who'll decide where to go.'

~ dr. seuss oh, the places you'll go

taking on hang ups

i have a huge problem with waste - whether it be of the material sort or immaterial (like time)... when i want to work/am driven to work, i hope to optimize my time... you know, once you can finally bring a piece into that fuzzy focus which allows you to at least begin... 

'there is no such thing as a failed experiment,

only experiments with unexpected outcomes.'

~ richard buckminster fuller

but i realized yesterday that thinking interferes with practicing... i don't want to waste materials or the time that could be spent making something that counts... but it is holding me back  - because it is really all in how you define what counts... i had mentioned that i got a bracelet mandrel... i have no problem using things around the house to improvise with - some of my favorite round shapes come from them... or buying items from the hardware store... but usually you need the right tools for the job... (yes, i know that you guys know this)... it can be a matter of expense - i have been using some really basic tools from over a decade ago and hadn't thought about it... at a class i held a pair of ruth rae's and was taken aback by the difference... 


what also interferes with practicing is a fear of failure - so yesterday i fused copper... (doesn't this all sound stupid? i am almost embarrassed to be writing it - except that i know that you have things that hold you back too)... 

wishing you a week where you might break even one of  your own little taboos... 

on things primal

i had the opportunity to work with components made by d'arsie at mamacita beads this week which made me really happy as i have long admired her work in pewter... a friend/neighbor asked me to make her something with a pendant and i got to pick out something too... she chose the good morning pendant for me to work with... having hit a rough patch in her journey, she is learning about herself by working through it, moving forward, being kind to herself... 


there is something about morning that brings hope and optimism... the birdsong that lets you know that first light is imminent... i decided to back the pendant with copper etched with an african proverb:

'however long the night.

the dawn will break.'

my choice in healing stones was howlite and green garnet... 

as for me, i chose the wise mama...

and she is divine... i knew i had to have her... she spoke to me on a deep level and needed to become part of a personal talisman... i had a couple of ideas in my head but nothing was feeling Right... and then, shannon posted her wonderful article on the abs blog - it had to do with creating neck cuffs... i hadn't made them because i thought i had to have a necklace mandrel... shannon freed me from that! my most favorite necklace in the world as a teen was a simple wire that i would put different things on... it got lost somewhere along the way, but i never forgot it... as i read the article, synapses started firing so fast that i had to run upstairs to get my visual journal... and just as quickly started pulling out components... this was a piece that surged out of me, demanding to be born... 


copper wire formed into a cuff... one wise mama... a hammered copper paddle with 'peace' stamped into it & adorned with gaspeite a stone believed to bring spirituality into every day life... a large drop of turquoise - master healing stone... the acorn known for strength, potential, patience... a resin paddle set with a small leaf... and an ethereal enamel bead by barbara lewis - made from glass and fire and metal, but exuding delicacy and earthiness...


fibers wrapping around one piece to represent the threads of life... and all intertwined with steel wire... fragile strength... 


and look at her back - she has the tree of life on it... 

and she's mine!!


* as i thought about this necklace last night and the placement of the wise mama being directly on the base of my throat, i decided to look up the throat chakra... it relates to honesty in expression - whether artistic or personal... hmmm, this is even better than it realized!


happy friday saturday! 

what i did this weekend ~

this weekend brought the opening of the monmouth festival of the arts... a show i had been making pieces for since december... emily came with me to the gala on saturday night and we got to see all kinds of wonderful art... sadly, i was only allowed to take pictures of my case... 


this was part 3A of my personal april challenge... 1 & 2 had to do with submissions... as these dates approached, i began to wonder if this 'feel the fear and do it anyway' thing was working... but they came and went and i met the deadlines... 


up until 24 hours ago (and my chest is pounding as i write about this) i was ready to write about this alter-ego of mine... who seems to take over now when i am presented with opportunities to try new things - she did/does not consult me, rather jumps in with both feet... then looks back at me and says 'this will be good for you, you'll see.'


almost in tears yesterday morning, i was not so sure she was right... you see, i had agreed to do a demo at the festival - part 3B of the april challenge... in january, the email came in - 'anyone who wishes to do a demo, please let so-and-so know with the title and topic of what you would like to do'... bam, the alter wrote right back to the co-ordinator... she didn't even ask me! i tried to put this in perspective, after all - some of you guys are teaching at bead fest, teaching regularly, at retreats, at big shows... i know this - i admire you for it and give you so much credit...

ok, so by now you know that facing fears is a big topic for me - and it is something i like to talk about because i know that lots of us feel that way... a piece of personal history - my mother tells me that the month before kindergarten  started, i asked her if it was going to be too hard for me... if i was smart enough to do the work... and i asked the same question for many years... seems i still do... 

i have begun to get comfortable sending in to publications because i don't see anyone's face... i still get the 'can i do this?' feeling about the idea and writing, but i am not at risk of stammering and shaking in front of a real live person... 

now i had VOLUNTEERED to do this at a very busy festival... and guess what? they most kindly gave me a sunday time slot... actually, you were asked to give them 2 time slots and they would make the final selection... my alter picked sunday and tuesday... the festival very nicely gave me sunday - the busiest day... there is a fine line between being excited and terrified... i was not bordering on terrified, by friday i was - certifiably... 

i knew i was going to have to create the components in all of the steps... that i would have to jump ahead 2 - 3 days in under 2 hours... so i busied myself with that part... 

as i realized i couldn't even think about it without shaking (i get nervous reading to a classroom of kindergarteners if that puts this in perspective for you) i knew i would need a thorough outline... just to keep me moving along in case i got stuck... 

got there, had about 16 -20 people in attendance - including emily, a very dear friend and a woman i met through etsy - and gulped... it helped immensely that they were interested and asked lots of questions... in truth, i got asked so many questions it felt more like a class than a demo... and i was grateful that the ice resin people have an 'ask the ice queen' place on their site... and then it happened, i was having fun... 

i walked out of there on clouds - the coordinator asked how it went and i said, 'great!' not 'fine'... i hope someday to know enough to maybe do some teaching at classes... i still get nervous thinking about it... but i am grateful to this alter of mine who pushes me now... who is showing me that with the proper preparation, kindergarten is not too hard for me... 

'fear' revisited ~

by valentina

like 'not good enough', 'not talented enough', 'not smart enough', 'not (you fill in the blank) enough'?

while perusing the blogs tonight i came upon someone expressing her frustration at self-sabotage... and a commenter who admitted to doing the same... both of these people are super talented... and so i am sad... why do we do this?

i get it... i was afraid to submit to a publication because i was sure i wouldn't be accepted... i got accepted and became afraid that i can't write the article... i will write the article and then be afraid that i will appear so stupid that they will never want me back again... 

this is all so ridiculous!! we have to stop standing in our own way... even if things don't go the way you thought they would, at least you'll know you tried... and even then a door will open - just one you weren't looking for!

'what we seek we shall find;

what we flee from flees from us.'

~ralph waldo emerson

this is really ironic - i was just journaling about this today... my new philosophy for myself is that if i feel my chest tighten at something (dangerous things do not apply here) i have to do it... it takes practice, but i like it... and each time i do it, i gain confidence... this is surely going to take awhile, but the goal here is to gain momentum... keep moving forward... i don't expect  to overcome all fear, but i do expect to be able to take a breath and move through it... 

'heaDinG oUt' by tam

if fear kept a bird from doing what comes naturally, it would never fly... it's the same with you... ALLOW yourself to fly... please... 

how come we tell our kids that there is only one of them in the world, with their way of seeing things and doing things... that their unique-ness should be embraced... and then don't believe that as we get older? 

'the greatest barrier to success 

is the fear of failure.'

~ sven goran eriksson

look at the athletes participating in the olympics right now - i am sure they must be afraid of things, but it doesn't stop them... and how many people are sitting at home, wondering what would have happened if only they had taken a chance... 

'courage is not the absence of fear,

but rather the judgment that something else

is more important than fear.'

~ ambrose redmoon

pick one thing tomorrow that makes you pause and start to say 'i can't...' and do it... i will borrow from yoda here - 'there is no try, only do.'

have fun! tomorrow is a new day... and the only way to live it is to, well, live it!

expostulation to self

'we gain strength, and courage, and confidence

by each experience in which we really stop

to look fear in the face...

we must do that which we think we cannot.'

~ eleanor roosevelt

as i read through the blogs i am blown away by all that is going on... those with books or contributing to them... those included in periodicals... great shows, awards won... congratulations to you all... 

making wishes is wonderful... but things only happen when a wish is accompanied by an action... are you pushing yourself? putting yourself out there? doing things you think you cannot? it is certainly necessary for personal growth, but also for the attainment of that which you desire...

eleanor roosevelt has always been a woman i admire... and i try to live by much that she has shared about life... this year i was privileged to have been invited into a jewelry exchange... and a book that was recommended to me was 'a charming exchange' by kelly snelling and ruth rae... 

thanks to kelly, i now have another mantra in my arsenal - and that is:

'... get out of (your) own way.'

p. 63

'fear will stop you in your tracks and kill your creative impulses.'

thank you, thank you, thank you! now, i do have to remind myself - OFTEN... it is a practice... at this moment, i am afraid of ice resin - yes, stop laughing... and i have all of the excuses... 'my house isn't 72*' ... 'if i mess up, it will waste it' ... blah, blah, blah, stupid, stupid, stupid... so after erin's challenge is complete, i am doing it - really... by monday i will have pictures - there, i have locked myself into it now! :0)

how are you holding yourself back?
-----
ok, how weird is this? i get daily messages from the universe www.tut.com
and here was today's:
Should you choose to go, do, and be, mary jane, at the end of your life, shocked and dismayed, you'll likely exclaim that because of all the uncanny events, wild timing, weird coincidences, and sheer chance encounters, all of your life's good fortune must have been your destiny. 

Or, should you choose to wait, wish, and hope, at the end of your life, shocked and dismayed, you'll likely exclaim that because of all the uncanny events, wild timing, weird coincidences, and sheer chance encounters, all of your life's bad luck must have been your destiny.

mary jane, do you see what the difference is?
It ain't me,
    The Universe

new day

'you must do the thing you think you cannot do.'
- eleanor roosevelt

so very aptly named by beth at hint, this scarab charm captures the essence of conquering the challenges within ourselves that we face daily - "wear a sacred beetle as a remembrance that you are slowly coming into being, creating something magnificent from seemingly nothing."

while tests come from the outside world in bucketfuls, some of the most deeply seated ones reside within us... we can be our harshest critics and our worst enemies... it is so freeing to take on something we are uncertain about or even fear ... and so gratifying to work it through...

we were in philly today at my youngest son's first tae kwon do tournament... he is a child who has been through a great deal due to his extreme prematurity... every accomplishment is a victory... this morning he sat huddled on the floor with tears pouring from his eyes... 'i can't do it,' he said... a new situation combined with a gym that was filled with people and the accompanying noise that comes with a crowd had brought him to a standstill... there are things he has to do medically that i cannot change or control... but this was an opportunity for him to appreciate his strengths... all i wanted to see him do was get on the mat, i didn't care if he froze and did nothing, just stepping out there would be more than he thought he could do... well, he did get out there, and later stated, 'i can't believe i was so upset about doing this.'

my 10-yr-old did something today that will change him forever - he grew... is he wiped and cranky right now? you bet - those really emotional pushes drain us... but they are so valuable... and i wept with happiness for him...

it took me months to finally put something onto etsy - i was so afraid that i had nothing to offer, that no one would like what i made, that i couldn't manage the photo editing... now i anticipate making something to list - i love the process... finding the beads, making the finished piece, then naming, photographing and writing about it... marketing is still a challenge, but i am working on it...

i have entered the worlds of blogging, flickr-ing and even listing on artfire... do blogs make my stomach churn? yes, indeed... but here's one more...

so what was i afraid of? and why do we hold ourselves back? whenever i am reluctant to do something i think of eleanor roosevelt, a woman who truly pushed herself to become everything that she could be... and who certainly excelled at it...

one step (and sometimes a leap) at a time we evolve...

what will you do today?